Empty Life
by AnkouRavien
Summary: Ever since we have this battle to restore El, I get afraid of death. What if someone killed me in my sleep? What if died in the battle? But... is there a point to live?


Another day is another mystery. Is there a right way to predict the future, instead of believing in divination? Is there a way to be lucky to avoid accident?

Is there a way to run away from death?

I lie down and hide my face with my hair. I wish I didn't have to think about this, but the questions keep coming to my mind every single night. Ever since El is weakened, I become afraid of death for the first time. Will I able to live tomorrow? What if something attacked when I was asleep?

"Rena? You're still awake?"

I look above to see a red haired boy looking at me with a smile. The El Gang, a group I'm in, is filled with skillful people to save the El. We can't complain about anything, including a place to sleep, so we all have been sleeping together for years now.

If two people are doing something inappropriate while all of us are asleep, I don't want to know.

"Is something bothering you?"

I get up and sit to face the boy beside me, "What about you, Elsword? Why are you still awake?"

The boy I called Elsword smiles at me, "I got nightmare!"

Good El… Why is he still smiling after a nightmare? I would stay awake for two hours.

This is not the first time Elsword realizes I'm having a trouble to sleep. I wouldn't know whether he's lying about the nightmare or not. This kid is just something else—he cares about people, even if they don't like him at all. Well, I mean, he can be annoying sometimes with his childish attitude and… a somewhat below average IQ.

"It's the usual. I'm sure you're tired of it already," I say with a low voice. I don't want anyone to hear it. We can't waste time worrying about me.

"I am," Elsword replies with his usual honesty, "but I will hear you out."

I tell him the questions I keep asking myself—the thing that he hears almost every day. We survived so many spectacles, meet so many people as El Gang gets bigger, but we've come to a whole different world from Elrios. We're dealing with Solace and things, but are we doing the right thing? What if we were on the wrong side this whole time?

"I can't say everything will be fine, but I don't even know what we're fighting for anymore," Elsword replies with a low voice as well, which is unusual for him to say something discouraging. As the only motivator in our group, I guess he has something that he can't say to everyone as well.

"It's my turn to hear what you have to say," I pat Elsword's head with a smile, "What's bothering you?"

"Are all of us on the same side?" he asks as he bites his thumb. "We are in the same group, but some people are having their own goals. Are we even fighting for the same thing?" he glances at the specific person who had all of us worried for some time, the demon girl called Lu.

I know Lu is different from other demons, but I understand what Elsword is worrying about. Even if she's kind, she's still a demon, a thing that invaded Elrios. She might be abandoned and betrayed by her own kind, but nobody knows what she's going to do after she got her power back.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to say something negative, especially when you're worried about many things already," Elsword apologizes as he lowers his head. It's very rare to see this boy sad. It makes me sad as well, to be honest.

"It's fine, Elsword. You can't keep everything for yourself," I smile and hold his hands, "You're always hearing me out, so you can tell me anything."

He smiles back at me. "I will. Thank you very much!" he says before he goes back to sleep.

I'm glad to see his energy back again. I lie down again and try to sleep.

I wish everything would end faster, so we can go back to our life.

* * *

"I need you to face the truth."

I open my eyes after hearing the voice. I'm in a… graveyard?! I slap my own cheeks, but I don't feel hurt. What a weird dream…

In front of me is someone like a grim reaper. A silver haired man with ponytail holding a scythe, sitting in the grave. I don't know whose grave it is since I only see the back of it.

"Ain…" I stand up and face him, "…I remember you. What happened to you?"

"That's weird. I should have completely gone from everyone's memory," the man named Ain replies, looking at me with emptiness in his eyes, "What had happened to me doesn't matter. I have seen the future. Everything will end in chaos."

"In the end, everything will become nothing."

Ever since he left his Goddess, his words were confusing me. I didn't know I still need to be confused at this moment, right after he's completely gone from our world and memories.

I knew it. We're missing someone when we got involved with Solace.

"You saw the future. What did you see?" I ask him as I walk toward him. The last time I saw him, he was still a physical being. What is he now?

"Your death."

His answer makes my heart stopped for a moment, even though this is only a dream. But it's weird… it doesn't feel like a dream at all.

"Unlike me, you will be remembered by everyone," Ain continues as he stands up and looks at the grave. I follow him and look at the name on the grave.

 _"Rena Erindel"_

* * *

I wake up with sweats all over my body. I still remember what was happened. Was that real? Was that really Ain, our friend that was forgotten by everyone?

Am I going to die?

"Rena, you okay?"

I look at Elsword beside me. He's really worried about me. "I-I think it's just nightmare. I'm okay," I answer him with a smile, even though I don't think it's a dream at all. I don't feel like I had a rest at all, instead I feel so tired.

"We should get going. We need to report to Denif," Elsword says as he smiles, "I can wait for you to feel better!"

I decide to prepare myself and go with everyone. I don't pay any attention to the conversation at all, even though it's really important. I can't stop thinking about my meeting with Ain. What was that all about? Is it true that I'm going to face my death?

Before I know it, a red haired girl dashes toward me and slashes whatever the thing that is after me. "Rena, focus! Do you want to die?!" the girl shouts at me.

…Do I want to?

I snap back to reality. I'm following them without knowing what we are going to do. We're currently in a city full of enemies.

"M-My bad!" I take out my bow and shoot them with my arrows as the girl runs to the place with much more enemies.

Someone runs toward me and kills the enemy behind my back. "It's not a normal nightmare, isn't it?" Elsword asks, still slicing the enemies with his swords.

"I didn't mean to drag everyone down. I'm so sorry," I reply to him. But still…

…What am I fighting for? Everything will be meaningless in the end, right?

At least, it's meaningless for me.

Whatever was in front of me is clear now, but when I look behind, it's a chaos. By chaos, I mean a lot of enemies are charging to us—and they're not weaklings. I didn't realize Elsword is already worn out after… only God knows how many enemies he killed.

"Elsword, run!" I push him away from the charging enemies.

* * *

I wake up on the same graveyard. This time, I wake up in front of my own grave.

"I told you, no?"

I face Ain beside me. He's also looking at the grave with blank stare.

"So… I died?" I ask as I stare at my grave. I don't know why I don't feel a thing. I don't even care with the fact that I just lost everything—my family, my friends, and my life. A few minutes ago, I was scared of dying—scared of losing something I have in the world.

I stand up and walk away from my grave, followed by Ain beside me, "It's fine. After all…"

"…life is just a temporary suffering."

Ain holds my hand as we keep walking to nowhere.

"Welcome to my realm of Void, Rena."

* * *

 _Thanks to this awesome person called Panda. We were just chatting and then idea came XD_

 _Sorry for the all randomness_

 _Thank you for reading!_


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